Melting Pot or Salad Bowl?

I have been conducting trainings for several years on a variety of topics, but the most common topic that I focus on has to usually do with issues around diversity.  It could be cultural awareness; the needs of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender persons; or how to be more embracing and open with others.  It is a passion for me, in that I always want to learn new ways, and teach new ways, for each of us to potentially be more open, compassionate and understanding with one another.

When I first started training many years ago,  I remember hearing at times about America, and our cultural experiences here, equating to a melting pot; many different people and cultural groups all coming together in one large entity.  And, that made sense to me; that each group brings its own qualities, and blended together, influence one another, and become one cohesive grouping.

However, years later, and to this day, the descriptor that I have come to appreciate more is that of salad bowl.

I, for one, LOVE salad.  I love it for many reasons.  One of the main reasons that I enjoy salad, is that even though there are many different ingredients brought together in one bowl, that creates an overall satisfaction of taste, there are also many different, INDIVIDUAL parts that bring their own, unique contribution.  In a salad bowl, there is a blending of flavors; and at the same time, each ingredient maintains its individual integrity.  Its uniqueness.  The qualities that make it what it is, and can at the same time, contribute to the whole.

To me, this is what best describes culture, and the way that I experience cultural difference in my daily living.  I appreciate that we can all come together in a common experience.  However, I also love that we each have a uniqueness that stands alone as well.  So, even when I want to be part of a group, I don't need to give away what is unique about me and important.  I get to continue to stand in my individuality, and support the individuality of those around me as well.

What do you prefer?  Soup, or Salad?  

The Basic Needs.

According to Choice Theory psychology, we have four basic needs; five, if you include the need for Survival.  The four basic needs according to Choice Theory are the need for Love and Belonging; the need for Fun; the need for Freedom; and the need for Power.  According to this theory, all human beings have the same basic needs throughout our lifetime.

This is a theory that makes a lot of sense to me.  And, to many other people that I know and come into contact with.  However, it is also clear to state that even though we all have the same basic human needs, we all meet them in a variety of ways.  We may know people in our lives that meet their needs in a similar way to ours, however, we all have our own purposefulness to our behaviors.  For example, one way that I meet my need for Freedom is by traveling, driving in the car for long and short distances.  This also meets my need for Love and Belonging, in that I am often traveling with those that I care about the most; and my need for Fun, because it is always an new, exciting experience for me.  Yet, there are others that don't find traveling to be need fulfilling at all.

Another need fulfilling behavior for me is learning; learning new things meets my need for Power.  Power can be a tricky need for people to understand; in that it isn't meaning power over others; rather, power in ones' own life is the meaning.  Learning helps me to feel very much in effective control of my life.  For others, learning could meet a person's need for Fun, or Love and Belonging, or may not be of interest to that person at all.  It reminds me that we all view the world in our own, unique way, and the meaning of the events and circumstances in this life as well.  

My belief is that we all need to have a clear understanding of the universality and uniqueness related to the basic needs in Choice Theory, and how each of us meet them in our own way.  By seeing ourselves as unique and universal, we get to embrace and appreciate the differences, and likenesses, among us all.