Most recently in my life, I have had a person that is close to me disclose that they are an alternate gender than the one that they were assigned at birth. Meaning, a girl at birth is disclosing that he is male in terms of his gender identity. It has me considering that gender is much more expansive than we might want to believe.
From the time of pre-birth, we are educated, socialized, and indoctrinated into the idea that gender is a binary system: you are either assigned to be a boy or a girl. From baby showers to gifts given after the new arrival, the majority of the time, gender is broken down to be a choice of either/or: Either male of female. Either pink or blue.
I totally participated in this system for the majority of my life. When I had a baby girl, or I knew that a friend or family member was having a baby girl, I was all about the pink clothes that I could find. The more "feminine" in appearance, the better. The same goes for when I knew that someone was having a baby boy; blue was the norm. It is socially acceptable. It is how we see our position in the scheme of things.
However, since my loved one recently came out as transgender, I have needed to deeply think about the binary concept of gender, and that, indeed it is just a concept. Binary gender, meaning, boys or girls, is merely a social construct. Designed in order to have us each know where it is we fit in on the food chain.
And, for most of my life, that was sufficient. But the real truth is, the picture in some persons' heads, in their Quality World according to Dr. William Glasser, is the image of being a gender other than the one that they were assigned to when they were born. And, therein lies the dilemma. It would not be a dilemma if we all viewed our gender as fluid, as each us being a combination and fluidity of both male and female. However, we categorize ourselves. It makes us feel safe. It helps us to know where we belong.
I am advocating for us to expand our view around gender identity. Even if I was born female, and see myself as mostly female, I have to also have compassion and understanding for persons who don't have that same level of congruence. Just because this is the way in which we are socialized, as binary gender humans, does not necessarily mean that it is the only way to define Gender. For me, gender encompasses so many various, unique aspects, that it is completely possible that for many of us, being binary just doesn't make sense.
Watch a film. Read a magazine. Observe how you see a binary system of gender depicted in the world. And, then decide for yourself if you would like to see it explored on a deeper level than that.
